بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful
Often things are difficult to achieve. Not necessarily that these things really are so difficult. But because something is like bothering me, or stopping me. It can be a combination of believing in myself, being focused, having clear goals, being organized and being patient.
I’ve also come to realize that it’s very easy to blame other people or the situation I’m in. But at the end of the day, I’m the only one who will take the consequences for that. Which will mean that I’m not progressing.
Allah SWT’s plan is perfect. We are where we should be in each given moment. We must trust Allah’s plan.
One of the first things to always start to work on is our relationship with Allah SWT. When our belief is stronger and when we are eager to perform worship, we will most likely feel different in our hearts. When I pray on time, I’m controlling my tongue, when I’m reciting Qur’aan daily, when I recite morning- and evening azkar in the rememberence of Allah SWT; I’m surely feeling better than when I don’t.
It’s important to remember to know that you are enough though. I’ll say, “you are perfect the way you are!”. But we humans are not perfect. We sin and we slip. We are humans. We should always remember however to ask Allah SWT for forgiveness, and always try to improve and always strive for excellence.
But, we should remain calm and happy. Not stressed out and depressed.
When I was younger I think I struggled a lot with my self-esteem. I always felt so shy, I was afraid I wasn’t sociable and talkative enough, I was afraid I wasn’t enough good looking, I was afraid I would never get married, I was afraid I wasn’t funny enough, or that my body wasn’t trained or in enough good shape, I was afraid that I didn’t have enough expensive clothes…
Ohlala how tiring.
That’s why I went to Qatar when I got the job offer from there. Because I wanted to get out of my comfort zone.
Then I met Muslims who said “In shaa Allah”. They had an inner peace that I wanted, and that I always had been searching for.
I was still eating loads of ice cream by this time. Because, I was struggling with believing in my self and feel at ease from within. So I tried to hide my emotions with ice cream. It doesn’t work, as we all probably know.
After hardship there is ease however.
Eventually I changed some things in my life and ended up in Morocco five years ago. I became a mum and I grew older in my mind, but in a positive way. Pieces started to fall into place more and more.
Because, just like a healthy lifestyle isn’t about just following a diet, self-esteem includes many pieces.
One tactic that isn’t anything that works for me is to try to be perfect. Excellence is enough to strive for. Because who can honestly be that super woman that I sometimes think is what I strive for…? Be in excellent shape with a six-pack on the stomach all the year around, have a perfectly clean house and preferably a big villa, have a 6-figure business, travel, be a stay-at-home-mom, recite Qur’aan every day, speak Arabic fluently, speak French and Spanish, study Islamic knowledge, always have delicious food at home for your husband and children, have a social life and so on and so on. Uhhh, a little bit overwhelming!
I think this is a mistake that many reverts do. At least that is what I’ve experienced. So, let’s take a deep breath. Know that you’re perfect as you are and that you’re enough.
Here are 5 tips how you can continue working on your self-esteem:
- Take care of your relationship with Allah SWT. Always the most important. Pray on time. Read Qur’aan daily. Start with 15 minutes. Schedule it. Stick to it. Always stick to what is the most important. Always remember Allah SWT.
- Create a clear vision for your life. What is important to you? What do you want to achieve? What will benefit you in this temporary life AND the hereafter?
- Have small, manageable tasks to perform and accomplish every day. I use to write down my priorities in my calendar the night before.
- Being kind and patient is part of our perfect religion of Islam. Nurture the relationships with people around you. Be present with people.
- Be accountable. Put all of your efforts into sticking to what it’s important to you, and work on establish habits.
This was a reflection about knowing that I’m good enough. Just like I’m telling myself to continue with all my dreams and goals, I’m encouraging you my dear sister, to do the same! Instead of feeling overwhelmed or low, take a deep breath, and continue to take control of the situation. You are needed. We are all needed and we are all unique. We all have a purpose and we all have valuable things to contribute with. We just need to know exactly what it is and then we need to allow ourselves to share it. Believe in yourself, take care of yourself and continue to work on your own vision and goals in life.
I get a smile on my face thinking of this… it’s exciting.
What are your take-away from this blog post? Please comment below, or send me an email and let me know. I love to read your emails.