Today I was thinking about how we sisters often want to do too many things. But also that it’s so easy to feel overwhelmed from time to time. And that too many sisters are not taking the time to take care of themselves. Why is it so, and how can we improve our wellbeing? One big thing, that I know, I myself can improve, is to set healthy boundaries. But what does that actually mean?
According to IPFW/Parkview Student Assistance Program:
“A boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends . . . The purpose of setting a healthy boundary is, of course, to protect and take good care of you” (n.d.). [https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-set… ]
“Take good care of you”. Which is part of the perfect religion of Islam too, and very important for our physical- and mental wellbeing. Just think about for example all the beautiful boundaries we have as Muslimahs in protecting our prayer for example, or wearing hijab. Alhamdulillah.
When I spoke to my husbad yesterday, about how I felt when I used to practice Ashtanga yoga, he asked me, “what is stopping you from doing that now?”. Nothing in a way. I have my mat, I have a space at home to workout, I’m healthy and have my 24 hours in a day to utilize in the way that I want. Alhamdulillah.
When it comes to setting boudnaries, we are all of course in different situations in life alhamdulillah. Some things we can control, and some things we cannot control. Alhamdulillah. Therefore, the very forst thing is to not compare to anyone else, but only to yourself. Then from there, look at your very own situation and see what boundaries you’re deciding to have for you, and which ultimately effects your family and those around you.
The good thing about setting boundaries
Yes, what can that be? For me that means to create space. To create time, to create creativity, higher quality in the job that I do and more tranquility in life. And less anxiety and better health.
Because, if I wouldn’t set boundaries, I wouldn’t nourish myself in the way that benefits me, and also then naturally my family.
What can healthy boundaries look like?
Quality sleep: The first thing that comes to my mind, is to honor your sleep. Because when you do, you’re able to wake up early and pray Tahajjud and pray Fajr on time, in shaa Allah. And the du’ua by Tahajjud is like an arrow that doesn’t miss its target subhanAllah mashaAllah.
Fitness: Another thing is to schedule- and stick to your workout routine. Becuase a strong believer is better than a weak, but there is good in both. Physical activity is healthy, as we know from science, but in my opinion absolutely needed and crucial for an energized and happy life. Being a stay-at-home mum? Workout in the convenience of your home, and inspire your kids as well!
Eating healthy: To prioritize time to cook and eat healthy is also important, and a chocie most of the time. Just like the body has a right over you. With quality sleep, regualr physical activity and healthy food; your honoring your body and yourself for improved life quality.
When the mind is tranquil, the body is strong and healthy, you’re surely more energized and will more likely manage all your duties throughout the day. And that’s what we need, right. We need energy to be a patient and mindful mum, wife and sister. But also have time for ourselves and our worship such as studying Islamic knowledge, read Qur’aan and study Arabic for example. Or build our business.
Social media and social life: In this time and age, it’s often times we expect to be available almost 24/7. But as much as we love and care to be up to date or stay in touch with sisters, we must set boundaries. Whether that is in business, in social life or on social media.
I think, a big reason for sisters feeling anxious or uncomfortable is because of too much social media usage, and to constantly be on the phone. Set boudnaries for yourself, and your family will probably love you Even More!
Be mindful instead, create space in your life and focus on what really matters. Focus on your own wellbeing.
Becuase when we start to set boundaries, we are just of a sudden prioritizing ourselves. (Which isn’t egoistic, but foundational!)
Because, when you’re strong and healthy, you’re unstoppable in shaa Allah! You’ll feel awesome in shaa Allah, you’ll have the opportunity to earn even more reward and pleasure from Allah SWT in shaa Allah. But in shaa Allah, also be of more benefit to others.
What does healthy boundaries mean to you, and how would it benefit you? Please share.
Thank you & Energetic Regards,