بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful
In my nine years as a Muslimah, I’ve never felt bad being myself, yet I of course have been struggling to improve. But I’m speaking more about trying to get other people’s acceptance or approval. I know many sisters are struggling with this however, along with finding the sweet balance where you find peace and happiness. I wish you to be you unapologetically, dear sister.
It doesn’t make sense that we should feel bad, unless we know that we are sinning and need to repent. Islam came to us to make us feel even better, because Allah SWT knows what is best for us. And when we do what we are guided to do, we will also naturally find a cure and find inner peace, I believe. Allah SWT is the Most Merciful. The Most Merciful. The One who forgives all sins.
Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” [Qur’aan 39:53]
Allah SWT is the One we think He is.
The Prophet said: “Allah the Almighty said: I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.” [Sahih Muslim]
In my understanding of the religion, we should always strive to improve and implement as much as possible of the Qur’aan and Sunnah in our lives, but at the same time, be happy and content.
I often see sisters struggling feeling bad, not thinking they deserve this and that or being god enough. If we are putting ourselves down, how will we shine and spread the message of Islam? How will we feel good with ourselves and our families?
Yes, we will be tested in various ways in this hayat dunya and temporary life. Yes, it’s like a prison for the believer, and it can be challenging. But I don’t believe in the approach of thinking that this dunya should be hard and that you cannot be happy. I’ve seen this too.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said, commenting on the hadeeth of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “O people, beware of going to extremes in religious matters for those who came before you were doomed because of going to extremes in religious matters.” [Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3059) and Ibn Maajah (3029); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i.
Similarly, I also know sisters are struggling having a strong self-esteem, being proud of being Muslimah and allowing that gratitude to shine and be displayed in wearign hijab for example. As someone wise said: “Obey the Creator, not the creation”. Because being like everyone else, just to try to be accepted and “please” them, will never work anyways, neither will it make you happy, unless you’re striving to please the Creator.
A reminder is also not make anything prohibited, unless it actually is prohibited:
The scholars set a rule that says that in principle everything is permissible, and they based this rule on shar‘i evidence.(Source Islamqa).
So, let’s keep things simple. Chose the middle path, remember your blessings. Do what you can to boost your self-esteem, so you can shine and invite others to Islam, and to be the best you.
Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu my dear sis. Be you unapologetically.